


beauty in her breakdown

by wingardiumleviosa111



Category: Lizzie Bennet Diaries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-02
Updated: 2014-06-02
Packaged: 2018-02-03 02:26:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1727705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wingardiumleviosa111/pseuds/wingardiumleviosa111
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Caroline knows that RSVPing to the 25th Annual Black Dress Gala means irritating people hanging around her for an entire evening, and lots of wine to stay sane.<br/>What she doesn’t know is that it means an awkward conversation with Catherine De Bourgh.</p>
            </blockquote>





	beauty in her breakdown

**Author's Note:**

> (Written for neither-saint-nor-sinner’s giveaway thing)  
> title adapted from this 8tracks playlist: http://8tracks.com/amberaven/beauty-in-his-breakdown

Caroline knows that RSVPing to the 25th Annual Black Dress Gala means irritating people hanging around her for an entire evening, and lots of wine to stay sane. What she doesn’t know is that it means an awkward conversation with Catherine De Bourgh. She’s brought her mangy dog to this event and Caroline finds herself wondering how much she had to pay off the people who run this event in order for them to allow Anniekins to scrabble around at her feet.  


Catherine is blunt, something Caroline usually values in her, but today is not the day for it, not when Darcy and Lizzie are over in a corner somewhere canoodling, not when Caroline feels like a hole is blasted through her chest every time she makes eye contact with him. 

She hasn’t seen him since who knows when, certainly before he and Lizzie ever got together. They were always each other’s dates to these things. It was nice to have someone to roll her eyes with whenever they were meeting an unsavory acquaintance. Now it’s Lizzie doing the eye rolling and Caroline is left cradling her near empty glass of Chardonnay, wishing it were something stronger.

"What is going through that head of his, I have no idea," Catherine’s eye twitches as she surveys the couple across the room.  
Caroline starts and forces herself to look away from Darcy, murmuring in assent.  
"What ever happened between you two?" Catherine scrutinizes her.  
Caroline’s teetering on the edge, she can feel it; if Catherine says one more thing about Darcy, she will break into millions of little pieces and it will probably ruin the party that everyone else seems to be enjoying. So after muttering something about drifting apart, Caroline excuses herself to the bar, claiming to need another drink.

She’s been sitting there for a few minutes when she hears a voice at her elbow. 

"Hey Caroline!"  
Caroline sniffs and surreptitiously runs a finger under her eye, getting rid of the moisture gathering there. She straightens her back and flips her hair, showering whomever is talking to her with a wave of floral scented shampoo.

Gigi sits on the stool next to her in a beautiful purple dress, her hands twisting and wringing in her lap. She’s nervous, though Caroline can’t tell why. It’s not like she and Gigi had a falling out; just Caroline and everyone else in her life.

Caroline nods at her. “How is Sanditon?”

It helps her to hear Gigi talk so passionately. It 1. doesn’t put any requirements on her to talk, and 2. boosts her morale. If Gigi is able to move out to the middle of nowhere and find happiness and meaning in her life, then maybe that’s what Caroline should do.

By the time Gigi is cut off from her babbling and pulled away by a Darcy that doesn’t meet her eyes, Caroline has barely said anything to anyone and she thinks maybe she should just go home. Her pajamas (made from only the best silk that was a Christmas present from Bing) are sounding pretty good right now. 

It’s only when Caroline slips out and is halfway down the street does she realize that no one would miss her. It’s that thought that throws a sledgehammer into her heart and she actually has to take a step back to steady herself. So she goes into the nearest bar she sees: a rundown, western style bar that has sticky floors and a woman with her hands down someone’s pants in the corner.

She goes home that night with someone who’s name she didn't catch and kicks them out of her pristine apartment at 5 in the morning, when she wakes up.

She feels dirty. Sure, she’s done this one night stand thing loads of times, but this one was different. She had been needy and desperate, and Caroline Lee does not do needy and desperate. So she sits in her kitchen, drinking scotch in her underwear at 6 in the morning and she decides she needs to end this. She needs to pick up the phone and do what she has been avoiding for months.

It takes her three tries before she actually calls.

When he picks up, her throat clenches and she has to clear her throat several times before she can get the words out, wincing as she does because she sounds weak. If there’s one thing she is not, it’s weak.

So she steels herself, because Caroline Lee is not a coward, and speaks.  
"Hey Bing. It’s Caroline."


End file.
